Advice
Speeches.
Order of the speeches.
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The traditional time for wedding speeches is after the meal has been served. Although these days more and more couples are having the speeches before sitting down to eat as it is a nerve-wracking experience and getting them out of the way appeals to many couples, as it allows everyone to relax and enjoy the day.
First up is the father of the bride who traditionally toasts the bride and groom and then goes on to talk about his daughter. As with all speeches, a mixture of affectionate anecdote and humour generally works well.
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The groom then replies on behalf of himself and his wife (although more and more brides are making their own speeches these days) and then proposes a traditional toast to the bridesmaids. He then goes on to thank those people involved in helping them in the planning of the wedding and distributes gifts to those who are to receive more than a verbal 'thank you'. The groom then goes on to talk about his new wife.
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If the bride is to make a speech it should take place following the groom's. The bride’s and groom’s speech should be co-ordinated well beforehand since both will probably wish to say much the same thing.
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Finally it is the turn of the best man. He traditionally begins by replying on behalf of the bridesmaids and then reads out telegrams, cards, e-mails or other messages from friends and relatives who couldn't be at the wedding. He will then go on to talk about the groom in what can be the highlight, or in some cases lowlight, of the wedding speeches.
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Speech Advice.
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Since few people are used to speaking in public, relying on memory can be a little risky; the last thing you want is to become tongue-tied, forgetting what to say next. You want to appear relaxed, confident and in control, these suggestions may help;
- Prepare and practice.
- Jot down ideas for the speech and place them in a logical order.
- Select only the best and don't make the speech too long, about 10 minutes is perfect.
- Avoid bad taste and overused clichés.
- Especially the best man, if you’d be embarrassed if it was about you, then don’t used it.
- Whilst a big help and do use them for inspiration, don’t use jokes and stories from the internet as they have become very tired and clichéd and anyone that has been to a few wedding would of heard them many many many times.
- If you can't tell jokes well don't bother, no one will think badly of a sincere affectionate speech rather than one full of jokes. Think about including a few tried and tested anecdotes instead.
- After composing your speech, make cue cards with clear headings to remind you of each item. This makes the speech appear much more spontaneous than reading from a script.
- Rehearse your speech either in front of an audience or a mirror.
- Do not drink too much before you speak although a little Dutch courage may put you at ease.
- Wait for silence before speaking and don't rush it, this is your moment of glory so enjoy it.
- Take a deep breath before you start.
- Have a glass of water handy.
- When delivering your speech stand with feet slightly apart, relaxed and still.
- Don't fidget!
- Look at your audience and speak clearly.
- Be sincere.
- Be flexible and respond to the audience when appropriate.
Toasts.
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A heartfelt and personalised toast is always works, but if you are stuck one of these may provide some inspiration.
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“May you grow old on one pillow”, old Armenian toast.
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“May you have many children and may they grow mature in taste and healthy in colour and as sought after as the contents of the glass”“, old Irish toast.
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“Lack nothing: be merry”, Shakespeare (Henry IV).
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“And to his eye There was but one beloved face on earth and that was shining on him“, Lord Byron.
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“Seek a happy marriage with wholeness of heart, but do not expect to reach the promised land without going through some wilderness together”, Charlie W Shedd.
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“To every lovely lady bright, I wish a gallant faithful knight; To every faithful lover, too I wish a trusting lady true”, Sir Walter Scott.
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“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed”, Carl Jung.
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“Love does not consist of gazing at each other but looking outward in the same direction”, Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
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“A happy marriage is still the greatest treasure within the gift of fortune”, Eden Phillpotts
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“Here’s to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented”
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“Here are some words to live by: Love to one, friendship to many, and goodwill to all”
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“Remember that if you ever put your marital problems on the back burner, they are sure to boil over”
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“Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married”
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“My greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least”
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“May the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out”
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“To the lamp of love - may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial”
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“The man or woman you really love will never grow old to you” Through the wrinkles of time, through the bowed frame of years, You will always see the dear face and feel The warm heart union of your eternal love”
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