Advice
Wedding Presents.
In the past the bride and groom came back from their honeymoon to set up house together having lived with their parents and so they needed everything for their houses: linen, china, cutlery and even furniture. Guests contributed towards the couple's future by giving money or gifts that would help them settle down together. Presents were often expensive and reflected the wealth of the donor rather than their relationship with the couple. Thus, the local landowner would be expected to give a fairly substantial amount of money at a wedding while the grocer could get away with less, even if he was the bride's uncle. Presents were displayed at the reception as status was reflected by the number of gifts received and the donors wanted their generosity much admired.
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In keeping with this tradition and as a mark of affection, many of your family and friends will want to buy you a gift, whether or not they will be attending your wedding. Although they are under no obligation, you will find that those attending your ceremony will almost certainly buy you a gift, whereas those invited to your reception or evening party only may not.
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Nowadays things have changed. Couples live together before they marry or have lived away from home for a number of years. In many cases both own an iron and a kettle and even their own homes. Because of this the wedding list has evolved, allowing the bride and groom to choose what they want or need and to prevent people giving them things they already own and to stop the arrival of 5 kettles and 3 toasters!
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The most common way of organising this is to have a wedding list with a particular shop, John Lewis for example. There are also specialised gift list companies that allow the couple to choose items from a range of shops, although these often make a charge. The old fashioned way is a wedding list held by the bride's mother where guests phone up and state their intention of buying a toaster etc. This list could be simply to avoid duplication or could have specific requests on it, with the shops where items can be purchased.
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Many shops and list companies will provide you with a card or leaflet to include with the invitations. Some people are very uncomfortable with this although many guests like to have things made easy for them and are very used to this practice.
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Don't make your list too long as you may not get the whole dinner service that you desperately want and might find it expensive to complete for yourselves. Keep the list limited and you will ensure that you receive the items that you really want. Items are usually for the house but many lists nowadays include luxury items.
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Whatever your decision it is absolutely vital that thank you letters are written for all the gifts you receive or you may choose to write these as the gifts arrive. You may choose to write them after the honeymoon. Having thank you cards printed with images of the wedding is very popular. These letters are usually written by the bride, as the groom usually can’t be bothered(!), but modern couples often share the task.
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